 Netflix premiered the second season of its controversial series 13 Reasons Why on Friday, May 18, 2018. As you may recall from our communication last spring, there are many concerns about tweens and teens watching this series. Considering the timing of this release, the potential for binge-watching and isolated viewing is more prevalent during the summer months.
Parents should become informed about the show’s content before deciding whether this show is appropriate for your child. The actors expressed that the show may not be right for everyone, especially if you are or have struggled with depression, self-harm, or suicidal thoughts. Additionally, Netflix has created a resources page with links to social/emotional supports, information about the show, and a discussion guide with tips for watching the show and ways to talk about the show with your child. Below are some resources you may find useful. If at any time you or anyone you know shows signs of mental distress or suicide risk, you should contact emergency services and/or a mental health professional immediately. Your division counselor is also available to support students and their families. Resources for Suicide Prevention and Intervention
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Research has demonstrated many benefits associated with a regular mindfulness practice including:
Mindfulness is Not:It’s often helpful to consider what mindfulness is not:
 Mindfulness is simply being present and attuning to internal and external stimuli in that moment without placing value or judgment on those experiences. This sounds easy enough but is actually a skill that develops over time and requires practice. Below are some suggestions for incorporating mindfulness into your life:
Try meditation. Happify, an organization that uses positive psychology, science, and technology to help individuals “lead happier, more fulfilling lives,” has an excellent video on their website to introduce mindfulness meditation and how to begin your practice. Often, when I introduce the idea of meditation, the response is, “I can’t sit still for that long” or “I just can’t focus my mind like that.” There are many different types of meditation, including prayer, focused breathing, guided meditation, and yoga nidra. Find one that’s right for you. It’s also important to remember that meditation is a practice, meaning that it takes time to develop and to reap the benefits.
These are a few ways to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life. And remember, there is no right or wrong way to practice mindfulness. There is only your way. References Bowen, S. et al. (2014). Relative efficacy of mindfulness-based relapse prevention, standard relapse prevention, and treatment as usual for substance use disorders: A randomized clinical trial. JAMA Psychiatry, 71 (5), 547-556. Davidson, R.j., Kabat-Zinn, J., Schumacher, J., Rozenkrantz, M., Muller, D., Santorelli, S.F., … Sheridan, J.F. (2003). Alterations in brain and immune function produced by mindfulness meditation. Psychosomatic Medicine, 65(4), 564-70. Goyal, M., Singh, S., Sibinga, E. M.S., et al. (2014). Meditation programs for psychological stress and well-being: A systematic review and meta-analysis. JAMA Internal Medicine, 174 (3), 357-368. Greater Good Science Center. (2017). What is mindfulness? Retrieved from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/mindfulness/definition. Heffner, K.L., Crean, H.F., & Kemp, J.E. (2016). Meditation programs for veterans with posttraumatic stress disorder: Aggregate findings from a multi-site evaluation. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 8(3). 365-74. Jacobs, I., Wollny, A., Sim, C., & Horsch, A. (2016). Mindfulness facets, trait emotional intelligence, emotional distress, and multiple health behaviors: A serial two-mediator model. Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, 57, 207-14. Kuyken, W. (2016). Efficacy of mindfulness-based cognitive therapy in prevention of depression relapse: An individual patient data meta-analysis from randomized trials. JAMA Psychiatry, 73 (6). 565-74. Loucks, E.B., Britton, W.B., Howe, C.J., Eaton, C.B., & Buka, S.L. (2015). Positive associations of dispositional mindfulness with cardiovascular health: The new england family study. International Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 22, 540-550. Lutz, A., Slagter, H.A., Dunne, J.D., & Davidson, R.J. (2008). Attention regulation and monitoring in meditation. Trends in Cognitive Science, 12 (4), 163-9. Marchand, W.R., (2012). Mindfulness-based stress reduction, mindfulness based cognitive therapy, and zen meditation for depression, anxiety, pain, and psychological distress. Journal of Psychiatric Practice, 18 (4), 233-52. Mindful Schools. 2017. Research on mindfulness. Retrieved from https://www.mindfulschools.org/about-mindfulness/research/. Modessto-Lowe, V. et al. 2015 Does mindfulness meditation improve attention in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder? World Journal of Psychiatry, 5 (4), 397-403. Morin, A. 2015. 7 scientifically proven benefits of gratitude. Retreived from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201504/7-scientifically-proven-benefits-gratitude. Neff, Kristen. 2017. What is self-compassion? Retrieved from http://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/. Tomfohr, L.M., Pung, M.A., Mills, P.J., & Edwards, K. (2015). Trait mindfulness is associated with blood pressure and interleukin-6: Exploring interactions among subscales of the five facet mindfulness questionnaire to better understand relationships between mindfulness and health. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 38, 28-38. Wagner, W. G. (2008). Counseling, psychology, and children. (2nd ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc. Wong, S.Y. et al. (2016). Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy v. group psychoeducation for people with generalized anxiety disorder: Randomized controlled trial. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 209 (1), 68-75.  Bullying behaviors have received a lot of publicity in recent years, and for good reason. There have been laws passed against bullying, which can hold parents, children, and school systems accountable for a child’s aggressive acts. This is motivated by findings that repetitive aggressive actions can cause significant emotional distress, depression, trauma symptoms, and suicidal thoughts. Parents have fears that their child may be a victim or aggressor in a bullying situation and often feel ill-equipped to address the outcomes. However, parents and schools can partner to increase knowledge about bullying and lead prevention efforts in their home and school community. An important first step in prevention is helping students understand what bullying is. Episcopal Middle School students are taught the acronym RIP to define bullying - unwanted, aggressive behavior that is Repetitive, Intentionally harmful, and involves an imbalance of Power, such as size, age, or social status. Bullying behaviors can take several forms, including:
 How can we tell if a child is the victim of bullying? How do we distinguish typical adolescent “moodiness” and a desire for independence from something more serious? Below are some warning signs that your child may be experiencing bullying:
Below are some suggestions for supporting your child as he or she navigates their social world. Remember that while our older children may appear as if they have everything under control and don’t want our support, the truth is that they often are MORE in need as they get older.
friendship retreat, service learning experiences, and class field trips. In our Upper School, student vestry members speak in chapel on topics such as inclusivity and building community. Advisory lessons about choosing kindness, effective communication, and being an upstander continue in high school at a developmentally appropriate level. Bullying is not a rite of passage and should not be viewed as a normal part of childhood. At Episcopal, we’d like to partner with parents and students to keep our school a safe and healthy community where all are welcome. References: https://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/index.html https://www.commonsensemedia.org/cyberbullying/how-can-i-determine-whether-my-kid-is-a-cyberbully http://www.thebullyproject.com/parents  Alicia Kelly
has served as a School Counselor at Episcopal since 2001. As the Middle School Counselor, she has a passion for helping pre-adolescents reach their potential, academically, emotionally, and spiritually. Alicia holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, Master’s in Health Sciences- Rehabilitation Counseling, and is a Certified School Counselor and Licensed Professional Counselor.  I remember back when I was a preteen and enjoyed using three way calling - yes, a high tech feature - to connect with multiple friends. We rode bikes to the nearest playground to hang out, and our main video game systems were Atari and then Nintendo, with two player options if your friend was right beside you. Today's preteens are finding their playground online - it's called instagram, Snapchat, twitter, and a variety of other venues. Video gaming is now digital, connecting teens all over the world. Times and interests for adolescents haven't changed but the WAY they connect has shifted. The online world available to teens brings a host of new challenges in parenting. As an adult, I enjoy technology, browsing Pinterest and Facebook in the grocery store line or while relaxing after work. The dangers that those leisurely activities present are few. But what dangers do I worry about for our children online? As a middle school counselor, my primary concerns are the physical and emotional well being of our students. Cyberbullying, online predators, and exposure to violence and pornography can be damaging to their physical and emotional well-being.
How can we, as parents, help our children navigate their digital world safely? Here are some suggestions:
For more discussion on safety in the digital world, join the Episcopal Counseling Team for a book study of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and survive) in their Digital World by Devorah Heitner, PhD on October 19th at 10 A.M. in the Alumni House Parlor Room. Sources: Common Sense Media- https://www.commonsensemedia.org/ Teen Safe https://www.teensafe.com/ NetSmartz http://www.netsmartz.org/Parents Bailey, Tricia “Talking to Your Kids About Social Media Safety” retrieved from https://identity.utexas.edu/id-perspectives/talking-to-your-kids-about-social-media-safety Heitner, Devorah (2016) Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World. New York, NY: Bibliomotion, Inc.   Alicia KellyAlicia Kelly has served as a School Counselor at Episcopal since 2001. As the Middle School Counselor, she has a passion for helping preadolescents reach their potential, academically, emotionally, and spiritually. Alicia holds a Bachelor's degree in Psychology, Masters in Health Sciences - Rehabilitation Counseling, and is a Certified School Counselor.   On August 13, 2016, many people in Baton Rouge and the surrounding areas awoke to water rushing into their homes in what was later referred to as the 100-Year Flood. Media outlets reported that more than 30,000 people were rescued and about 110,000 homes were damaged in the Baton Rouge area, totaling approximately $20.7 billion in damage. The reports of Harvey’s devastation in Houston and other areas of Texas and southwestern Louisiana are eerily familiar to those from our own city just one year ago. Children and teens exposed to natural disaster might experience a range of emotional and psychological reactions, including sleep disturbance, anxiety, depression, difficulty concentrating, developmental regression, and withdrawal from friends and family. Parental and peer support are key to the recovery process. Here are some ways to help children cope with the aftermath of a natural disaster:
For additional resources, you can visit the following sites: American Psychological Association’s Help Center for Disasters & Terrorism - http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/disaster/index.aspx American Red Cross, “Recovering Emotionally” - http://www.redcross.org/get-help/disaster-relief-and-recovery-services/recovering-emotionally#During-the-Holidays FEMA, Helping Children Cope with Disaster - https://www.fema.gov/pdf/library/children.pdf  Jodi MantonJodi Manton has served as the Upper School Counselor since 2015 where she provides academic and social/emotional services to Upper School students and their families. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC), and Certified School Counselor. She has a master's degree in education with a concentration in mental health counseling and a Certificate of Education Specialist with a concentration in school counseling from Louisiana State University.  I have started, erased, and restarted this blog three times now. When I was asked to write a blog about stress, I couldn’t help but think of all of the major events our community has been through this year, and every time I began to type the list, I found myself thinking, “This is just too much.” Yet in the face of it all, our community has thrived. And while it is true that we are stronger because of what we have experienced, many individuals in our community, city, and state are experiencing elevated levels of stress. Results of a survey released by WalletHub in April 2017 found Louisiana to be the second most stressed state with a score only marginally lower than the most stressed state in the nation, Alabama. The American Psychological Association’s Stress in America 2017 Snapshot reported the first statistically significant increase in stress since the survey was first administered in 2007. Anecdotally, I have had multiple conversations with people discussing the more elevated than usual baseline stress level that some are experiencing and the tendency to be more sensitive and reactive to what they might have considered minor stressors in the past. 6 Tips for dealing with stressAs we approach this busy time of year, we often find ourselves feeling overwhelmed. Here are some suggestions for dealing with stress in a healthy way:
"Often we get so caught up in taking care of everyone around us, we forget to check in with ourselves. Check in with yourself regularly, and listen to what your mind and body are telling you you need." 
These are just a few suggestions for coping with end-of-the year stress. I challenge you to try one or more of these over the next few weeks and see if they work in your life. 1 Sansone RA, et al. "Gratitude and Well Being: The Benefits of Appreciation," Psychiatry (Nov. 2010): Vol. 7, No. 11, pp. 18–22 2 NPR (2017, April 25) “Just Show Up: Sheryl Sandberg on How to Help Someone Who’s Grieving.” Retrieved from http://www.npr.org/templates/transcript/transcript.php?storyId=525453115  Jodi MantonJodi is a Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC) and is currently serving as the Upper School Counselor at Episcopal School of Baton Rouge. She has a Master’s of Education with a concentration in Mental Health and a Certificate of Education Specialist with a concentration in School Counseling from Louisiana State University. Prior to working as a school counselor, she worked in various clinical settings, including a community-based family clinic, a university mental health clinic, and a substance abuse detox facility. Jodi’s areas of focus and experience include school counseling, adolescent and family counseling, individual and group counseling, identity development, girls’ and women’s wellness, military personnel and veterans, academic and career counseling, and substance abuse treatment.  “How Connected is Too Connected? Finding Balance in the Digital Age” As I scrolled through research for this post on my iPad, my husband asked what I was reading about. “I’m researching for a blog post about the impact being connected has on our daily lives.” A knowing grin crept onto his face, and I didn’t need to ask why. I stood for a moment to satisfy the alert from my Apple Watch, cleared the notifications from my iPhone, turned on my Bluetooth headphones to stream the Beethoven station on Pandora (one of my favorite work stations), and opened my MacBook to begin writing this post. I entered this endeavor knowing that my digital devices and media consumption have become an integral part of my daily life as they have for so many Americans. The Nielsen Company’s audience report for the first quarter of 2016 revealed that adults in the U.S. spend an average of 10 hours per day consuming media (2016). Deloitte’s Global Mobile Consumer Survey (2016) found that 77% of Americans have ready access to a smartphone and 40% of consumers reported checking their phones within 5 minutes of waking. Another interesting finding is that many individuals reported using their phones in many settings and while engaging in other activities, including shopping (93%), at work (93%), and spending leisurely time (90%). I can’t say that I am surprised by these statistics, as they ring true for me personally. I typically check my email from my smartphone as I’m making my morning coffee and then again multiple times throughout the day. When I’m waiting in the doctor’s office or in line at the grocery store, I often find myself scrolling through my Instagram or Facebook feeds, liking and commenting on posts made by my “friends.” And anyone that knows me knows that I am an avid consumer of podcasts and almost always listen to them as I’m cleaning the house, exercising, or driving the car.
And yet, despite these benefits, I do wonder about the potential negative impact of technology in our daily lives. If we are spending 10 hours a day consuming media, what impact is that having on our relationships? If I am focused on taking the perfect photo to document a moment on social media, am I truly in that moment? In Alone Together, MIT social psychologist Sherry Turkle (2011) laments the effects of online presence on our identity development. Where once she was hopeful that social media would provide ample opportunity to explore and “try on” different identities, the reality is that we are becoming more and more confined by the identities we create on Twitter and Facebook, putting a great deal of time and effort into cultivating the perfect online persona for our followers. Turkle also describes the infringement of technology on our relationships, such as the limits of expression and empathy through electronic communication and our device's ability to contaminate our time with others by drawing our attention away from the individual immediately in our presence. NYU Stern School of Business psychologist Adam Alter (2017) describes the addictive nature of digital devices and social media in his book Irresistible, citing statistics that 60% of adults keep their cellphones next to them when they sleep and half of those check their emails during the night. He cautions that our relationship with our devices is to the detriment of our personal relationships, our attention spans, and our ability to retain information. Despite these potentially negative outcomes, the reality is that digital devices and social media will likely remain a part of our daily lives and can actually enhance our lives in many ways. So how do we mitigate the bad while keeping the good? Balance. Striving to be mindful of our media consumption and digital use and its role in our lives. Some strategies for this include:
These are just a few ways that you can maintain more control over your digital use and avoid allowing it to control you. You could also see improvement in your personal relationships and mental well-being. I encourage you to try one or all of these as an experiment this week to see if there is any positive outcome in your life. References: Alter, Adam. (2017). Irresistible: The rise of addictive technology and the business of keeping us hooked. New York, NY: Penguin Press. Deloitte. (2016). 2016 global mobile consumer survey: U.S. edition. Retrieved from https://www2.deloitte.com/us/en/pages/technology-media-and-telecommunications/articles/global-mobile-consumer-survey-us-edition.html The Nielsen Company. (2016). The Nielsen total audience report: Q1 2016. Retrieved from http://www.nielsen.com/content/dam/corporate/us/en/reports-downloads/2016-reports/total-audience-report-q1-2016.pdf Turkle, S. (2011). Alone together: Why we expect more from technology and less from each other. New York, NY: Basic Books.  Jodi MantonJodi is a Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC) and is currently serving as the Upper School Counselor at Episcopal School of Baton Rouge. She has a Master’s of Education with a concentration in Mental Health and a Certificate of Education Specialist with a concentration in School Counseling from Louisiana State University. Prior to working as a school counselor, she worked in various clinical settings, including a community-based family clinic, a university mental health clinic, and a substance abuse detox facility. Jodi’s areas of focus and experience include school counseling, adolescent and family counseling, individual and group counseling, identity development, girls’ and women’s wellness, military personnel and veterans, academic and career counseling, and substance abuse treatment.  In many ways, girls and women are doing better than ever:
While girls are flourishing, they also face many challenges:
While this is concerning, there are things we can do to buffer the impact of these negative influences on our girls:
Bauman, K. & Ryan, C. (2015). Women now at the head of the class, lead men in college attainment. Retrieved from http://blogs.census.gov/2015/10/07/women-now-at-the-head-of-the-class-lead-men-in-college-attainment/?cid=RS23 Choate, L. H. (2008). Girls’ and women’s wellness: Contemporary counseling issues and interventions. Alexandria, VA: American Counseling Association. Dangerfield, W. (2012). Before and after title IX: Women in sports. The New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2012/06/17/opinion/sunday/sundayreview-titleix-timeline.html?_r=0#/#time12_265 Voyer, D. & Voyer, S. D. (2014) Gender differences in scholastic achievement: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 140 (4), 1174-1204. Yong, E. (2017). 6-year-old girls already have gendered beliefs about intelligence. The Atlantic. Retrieved from https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/01/six-year-old-girls-already-have-gendered-beliefs-about-intelligence/514340/  Jodi MantonJodi is Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC) and is currently serving as the Upper School Counselor at Episcopal School of Baton Rouge. She has a Master’s of Education with a concentration in Mental Health and a Certificate of Education Specialist with a concentration in School Counseling from Louisiana State University. Prior to working as a school counselor, she worked in various clinical settings, including a community-based family clinic, a university mental health clinic, and a substance abuse detox facility. Jodi’s areas of focus and experience include school counseling, adolescent and family counseling, individual and group counseling, identity development, girls’ and women’s wellness, military personnel and veterans, academic and career counseling, and substance abuse treatment. |
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