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Finding Joy and Community in New Experiences

September 4th, 2025


Carrie Poynot, Director of Choral Activities, stepped out of her comfort zone recently to share an inspiring Upper School Chapel message. Read more from her below.


 

The fear of doing something well sometimes keeps us from trying.

This is uncomfortable for me. And that's the point. I have been at Episcopal for 6 years, and I began writing this about 3 years ago. Finally, I am challenging myself to share it with you. We all have our comfort zones. Mine is sitting with our amazing choir behind the piano. But, writer Kristin Lohr says that “Growth is uncomfortable, because you’ve never been here before.” Each time we push ourselves to do something new, our brains change. We grow. We might even discover joy, or a new skill, or a new friend. 

 Comfort and Growth

Look around this campus. From academics and athletics to art, music, and debate—you all step outside comfort zones all the time. That’s why excellence happens here. Even our teachers have top degrees, experience, and accolades. 

But when I felt called to speak to you today- I questioned myself. What can I add to worship? What important thing could I possibly say? I am not a preacher. I’m a choir teacher. Most days my contribution to worship is “Amen” or a song. That’s where I feel safe.

But again, that’s the point.

Who am I to put myself in a smaller box than God has for me? Who am I to let fear – fear of judgment, fear of failing – keep me from sharing my heart? God never asked us for perfection. 

Fear and Joy

There are going to be people that are better than you, and me, at things. Rev. Casey or Father Patrick would be way better at this right now. 

Me? I am learning pickleball. I was scared to try because I thought I’d be terrible. And I was… at first. Honestly, I’m still not great at it, but we kept going and we are getting better. And do you know what? We are having fun. You should see me doing the Cupid Shuffle at a wedding. Not great, at all. But I am participating, and part of a community of people celebrating. And I am having fun. 

That’s the real enemy here—not failure. It’s fear. Fear whispers: “I can’t do that. I’ll look stupid. People might hear me. People might judge me.” But let’s be honest. What all that really means is: “I’m scared.”

So here is my challenge: Don’t fear failure. Instead, fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today. 

Scripture says it better: 2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

Choir and Vulnerability 

One of my biggest tasks teaching middle school choir is simply making kids feel comfortable discovering their voices. There is a lot of laughter and jokes and squeaks, and cracks. Maybe you remember what that felt like. The vulnerability it takes to just try?

Put yourself back there - middle school, or whenever it was that you tried something new. Maybe you were awesome at it, and you stuck with it. Most of us tend to stick with things not only that we are good at, but that we feel comfortable with. BUT- was there something that you enjoyed that brought you joy- that you maybe weren’t the best at- but you had fun, made friends, learned something, and grew from the experience? Should we be seeking those things as much, or more, as the things we are good at?

I taught elementary school for a bit in my past, and one of the things I miss about that is the unbridled joy that comes from that age. It’s before self-awareness and fear of judgement comes into our lives. We are uninhibited- silly- unapologetic. What a world to live in! We did things then because they were fun and we enjoyed them. Not because we were good at anything. Not because we had already put ourselves in a box of what people might approve of, or what we are good at, or what might get us into a better college. 

As my friend Ms. Kirshner said, “What if we left it up to only the cheerleaders to cheer and applaud at the sports games?” What if the crowds in the stands just sat there silently and watched? What would that feel like? Where is the community? Where is the spirit of Episcopal? 

The Ask

So… what’s my point? 

Sing in chapel. Don’t leave it up to the choir. Or the “cheerleaders”

John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, wrote 7 rules for singing back in 1761. Let me share two of them with you. 

III. Sing All. See that you join with the congregation as frequently as you can. Let not a slight degree of weakness or weariness hinder you. If it is a cross to you, take it up and you will find a blessing. 

IV. Sing confidently and with good courage. Beware of singing as if you were half dead, or half asleep; but lift up your voice with strength. Be no more afraid of your voice now, nor more ashamed of its being heard, than when you sing the songs of Satan. 

In today’s times, that’s like singing with the radio or at a party when your favorite song comes on.

We are ALL a part of this worship experience. Teachers too. Don’t let fear keep you silent. 

Happiness & New Experiences

I’m asking you to be vulnerable, so I will as well. I’ve struggled with anxiety and have read a lot about happiness. Here’s what the research shows matters most:

  • Friends/community 
  • Family 
  • Exercise 
  • Greater purpose 
  • New experiences 

The last one stands out to me. New experiences–even scary ones–bring joy. Someone once said: “Do one thing that scares you every day.” Maybe for you, that’s singing in chapel. 

Finally, I’ll leave you with some very deep and profound wisdom from the classic movie Elf, with a slight adjustment: “The best way to spread chapel cheer is by singing loud for all to hear!”

So let’s try it. Together. Right now.

The Episcopal School of Baton Rouge 2025-2026 application is now available! ​For more information on the application process, to schedule a tour, or learn more about the private school, contact us at [email protected] or 225-755-2685.